I have been thinking lately about the reason why I am still alive today, especially at this very second, minute, and hour. I’ve never had this thought anytime in my life. I only know that I have to work hard so that I can support my parents. Paying my bills and saving money to buy grocery, medical bills, and mortgage or the house for my parents were my ultimate goals in life. I never thought deeper about the reason why I did this.
Maybe because I was born in a poor family. That’s why the biggest problem in my entire life was about not having enough money. My childhood was full of survival and so were my parents. Nothing much like any other kids that could get whatever they wanted when they wanted from their parents. Knowing what I now know, after my mom’s passed away, at the same time, I lost my goal in life.
What is the purpose of making money if my mom wasn’t there for me anymore.
I still remembered when my coworkers did ask me when I worked two to three or even five part time jobs in the past, “Why did you work so hard?”
I was proudly saying that I worked so hard for my mom. Now, that reason is no longer valid. I am a fool if I keep on saying that. Money cannot bring my mom’s back to life. So, what is the purpose of me still here?
Many of us in our young age only want to focus on one thing, how we can make more money. I can say that there is nothing wrong with making more money. But are we making money for the sake of making money itself or for what? This is the most difficult question that we all need to ask ourselves.
When I was still young, I saw life differently. For me, life is a struggle. The never ending one that I need to overcome so that I can win this battle. The longer my life is, the longer my struggle.
That’s why I said to myself that I am going to live for only 50 years. For me 50 years is good enough. I have seen it all. The struggle, the pain, the sorrow, and the joy of having this life.
I’ve never looked back. The time when I turned 25 years old. I knew that I have already reached a half way of my journey. I only had 25 more years to go. Whether we like it or not, death is the final destination. We need to prepare for it. Especially during the time like this, we are thinking of this even more.
For me, I do not know what is my main goal in life since my biggest motivation has just gone. However, for sure, making money is not my goal in life anymore. Taking care of my dad could be my shorter purpose in life but not the long term one. I am still searching for it from now until I die. Maybe sooner or later, only time could tell.
Thank you for reading this post and hope you already found your purpose in life and not like me.